Be proactive and take control of your life
Key topic
Learning how to take control of your life starts by identifying the need to continue learning. Being proactive- controlling a situation rather than dealing with it after it has happened- is a very important skill that will help you better prepare for the future and save the cost of delay. In this lesson, we will help you identify why it’s important to take advantage of every opportunity and how you can best develop by surrounding yourself with the right people.
Learning objectives
- Understand the importance of being proactive
- Discover the cost of delay
- Create conditions that will help you take advantage of every opportunity
- Figure out ways to develop personally and achieve your goals with the help of experts
Being proactive
Imagine you are in practice or you are getting ready to play a game. Your coach tells you to be alert. The coach asks the entire team to anticipate certain moves from the opposing team; for example, when defending set pieces in soccer, where you have to anticipate the opponent moving in free space, or screens taking place inside the penalty box, or the strikers moving up towards midfield creating space for the wingers to cut inside the penalty box. The coach asks you to expect certain moves and counter those by defending in a certain way. This is being proactive in defense. Or perhaps if you are a striker, the coach will ask you to open up towards the ball and expect the through pass, by making a run, in open space. That’s being proactive in attack. The same kind of anticipation and response holds true in real life as well.
Being proactive means taking action, by causing change and not only reacting to change when it happens; it means taking an initiative and anticipating an event.
Look at “responsibility”. It is a synthetic word from the words: response and ability. In other words, it refers to your ability to respond. But don’t take our word for it. As Stephen Covey said:
Look at the word responsibility – response-ability – the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.
Human beings are by nature proactive, without implying that external conditions do not affect us. Nonetheless, the extent to which we allow circumstances to affect us depends on us. If we give those circumstance more weight than is necessary, we become reactive. Reactive people are those who relinquish control of themselves and instead of actively trying to shape their fate, they instead opt for responding rather than acting. The simple of examples is letting the weather affect your mood. If the weather is good, reactive individuals feel good. On the contrary, if it isn’t, it affects their mood negatively. Proactive people will do their best not to be affected by external and uncontrollable circumstances; come rain or shine they will do their best to be their own master. They keep their focus on their values and will not allow conditions affect them if they can help it.
It goes without saying, that reactive people are also affected by their social environment. If someone does not treat them as they want or is treating them with hostility, then that will affect their own mood and behavior directly. It could be argued that reactive people trade their individuality for the behavior of others and even build their lives around that; in essence, again, giving someone else the keys.
Reactive people are driven by impulses, by circumstances-conditions and third parties. Proactive people are driven by their values which tend to be well-thought-out guiding principles. Without a doubt, proactive people are not immune to external factors, be they physical, psychological or social, however, their response to them is dictated by their values.
In short, being proactive means weighing alternatives and making decisions based on your own value system while being reactive means making your options subject to the circumstances of your environment. Being proactive means readiness to face problems and find solutions to them. Being reactive means dealing with problems, if at all, as they come, with minimum effort and preparedness.
Being proactive offers several advantages in sports, as it does in real life. If you are proactive in your life, you will find that you are better prepared for what is ahead and any situation you might face. If you are proactive, you will save time, but also money- something we will discuss in depth later on in this lesson. It will also help you evaluate and identify any flaws in your actions, your philosophy, your strategy and give you time to change things without having to suffer in order to learn. If you are proactive then you will be much more flexible to deal with any situation, because probably you will have already considered several alternatives and of course, if you are proactive, you will be better prepared by having set up a plan for the future. Additionally, you will be able to predict possible mistakes, take corrective action before it’s too late and also recognize the need for change.
All these benefits, ultimately give you the great advantage of being well prepared, having peace of mind about the immediate future and even better, you will feel comfortable about your long-term future, having the experience to repeat the process and create a roadmap for your future actions.
Let’s watch the following clip about being proactive/ reactive:
Action Steps – Exercise 1 (5 minutes):
- What do you think of the video we just watched?
- How can you describe yourself, proactive or reactive and why?
The cost of delay
It is rather obvious that if you are reactive instead of proactive, if you delay in preparing for the future, if you don’t take the time and make the effort to plan ahead, then you will suffer a cost. This cost doesn’t necessarily have to be the same each time; some times it will be the cost of time, sometimes it will be the cost of money and other times the cost could be a failure, anything from as simple as not doing well on a test, to not being able to fulfil your life goals and meet your life plans.
The world is constantly changing and so are you. You’re always in motion. Your life is always going somewhere. Everything changes. It can be pretty easy to just drift through life and not notice which direction you’re going. You have total choice over the direction you are headed in life, but chances are you don’t realize it. The time when you have the most choice is now. The teen years are the best years for determining and changing the direction of your life. Once you get older, it can be a lot harder to find the time and freedom to go after the skills you want to gain. You have a great opportunity right now to set yourself on a course of continuous learning so that you don’t have to suffer this cost and be better prepared to act proactively.
Your teen and young-adult years are the time when you can begin transforming yourself into the person you want to be, and let time work for you and be on your side; it’s not that much different from the principle of compound interest, or how money grows over time. The world of money is one of the easiest places to see the power of investing early. As we’ll show you in later lessons, the earlier you invest, the greater your reward. One of your goals should be to be proactive about your finances and create a financial plan for yourself so that you are consistently building your savings. All this takes, is just choosing some simple action that is easy to do, which if repeated automatically, either daily or weekly, will over time, leads to financial success. All these issues will be discussed in the financial literacy lessons which you will also have the opportunity to attend through the soccer academy.
While the above is true about money (and knowing how to handle your money is a very good thing), early investing applies to all other areas of your life. Right now, in your teen years, you have the power and the freedom to invest in the course of your life in the long run. Investing means having a good education, or developing proper character and a good system of values and beliefs; investing means building relationships, making friends for life, finding your path in life and proactively preparing on how to achieve this plan.
Now, is the best time for setting your life on the right course. Habits, actions, attitudes, and philosophy are very powerful tools and they can help you become proactive and be in charge of your life. The earlier you can get on the right track in all of these areas, the better. Putting things off is not the way to go. What you’re going to do with your life is much more than a question of what kind of a job you’ll have or how much money you’ll make (although both are important). It’s a question of deciding what kind of person you want to be. Now is a good time to make decisions and turn them into actions.
Take advantage of all opportunities
Part of the process of continuous learning, is understanding the need to take advantage of all opportunities that may arise in your life. Opportunities will vary and will present themselves in different shapes and forms. One opportunity could be to learn the importance of saving money, or learning a new skill, or understanding the grown- up world; it could be through a summer job at the mall, or your parents’ business; it could be through a summer camp, or after-school activities; it could be just through social networking where people gain knowledge and awareness through discussion and the exchange of ideas or experiences. Do not underestimate the power, usefulness and importance of these opportunities.
Think about the opportunity of going to a soccer camp outside the United States. You have the opportunity to master your sport skills and train in a different environment, with different coaches and under a different system and mentality. At the same time, you have the opportunity to spend time away from home and learn how to be responsible, take care of yourself and do things, otherwise not required of you. You have the opportunity to meet new people, new cultures, make new friends, learn a new language, or just experience the lifestyle of a different country. Think of all these different opportunities arising just from a single one-week trip to a soccer camp in a country outside the United States. Would you want to miss out? Do you think it could be useful?
Here are some simple ways to prepare yourself for taking advantage of opportunities:
1) Review
Take time to look back on any opportunities that you did not go after as well as on what led you to making that decision. Was it a fear (failure, not being good enough, etc.), was it a money or other resource issue, did you not feel supported by others, or was it from lack of knowledge? By exploring these missed opportunities, you can begin to see patterns in your behavior that you can work on.
2) Challenge
Once you know why you did not follow through on past opportunities, you can now begin to challenge your thoughts; you cannot know any outcome until it occurs, meaning that you can change your behavior towards a positive outcome.
3) Be Aware
Commit to paying attention to what occurs in your daily life for situations that you can take advantage of; being more aware will help you slow down and decide if it is the right time or right decision for you to make; identify what resources or type of support might help you to take action.
4) Be Bold
Take action towards what you desire without giving in to your fears. Not giving into your fears will keep you moving forward.
Action Steps – Exercise 2 (5 minutes)
- What new opportunities would you like to have?
- How could you go about creating them?
Surround yourself with the right people
In order to continuously learn, you need help. There is a “do-it-yourself, I-don’t-need-anyone” notion, as if it’s somehow cooler, tougher, smarter, or better to do things on your own (and only for yourself). But doing it all by yourself is impossible; you can’t do it all on your own. Imagine playing eleven different positions on the soccer field, all on your own. Can you win on your own? Can you achieve anything great without the help of your teammates and the guidance of your coaches? Do realize that it’s the exact same thing in real life. If you don’t have good teammates and good coaches in real life too, chances are you won’t get far.
Everyone needs someone to whom they can confide, someone they can talk to about whatever challenge they happen to be facing at the time. “Someone you can talk to” might mean a school counsellor, an uncle, a grandparent, a teacher, or a coach.
There are three ways to learn something new; one way is to study how it works and how it is done; the second is to learn by actually doing it. But there is a third and even more powerful way to learn, and that is to find someone else who’s already mastered whatever it is you want to do. That person, called a mentor, can teach you through his or her experience.
Whatever goals you wish to achieve, seek out adults who have achieved the same or very similar goals. Hang out with people who have been there and have done that. If you want to be a pro-athlete, then master your skills and observe closely those successful athletes (on and off the playing field) who can teach you even from a distance. If you want to be a success in business, then find a way to spend time with a successful businessperson; if you want to be an artist, study with an artist; if you’re thinking of becoming a lawyer, set up a meeting to talk with an attorney. There are many adults out there who have a lot of skills and knowledge to share.
Whatever you decide to do, whomever you choose to follow and receive mentorship from, always remember that your journey will probably not be a straight line. You will have to continuously adjust your course, you will have to constantly evaluate your path, your development and the outcome of your actions. Take corrective measures whenever needed, be proactive in your steps, in your plans and in your actions so that you can save the cost of delay.
Lesson wrap-up
Today we explored the differences between being proactive and reactive and how they lead to different paths. We also discussed the importance of being proactive in taking advantage of new opportunities and maximizing your learning experience. Moreover, we explained why it’s important to have the right people around you to help you do that and support you.
At this point we will wrap up today’s lesson. First, we will go over the learning objectives of this lesson and we want your feedback as to whether they have been achieved and then we will address any questions you may have. Please feel free to ask anything you’d like in relation to today’s lesson and we would love to hear how the concepts we discussed today relate to you and your life!