Dealing with negative influences and peer pressure

Key topic

Today’s lesson is about negative influence and peer pressure. Peer pressure is something we all experience in our everyday lives. You cannot get away from it but you can learn to deal with it. Therefore, today we will explain peer pressure by breaking it down it into its main parts. Peer pressure does not necessarily have to be negative. We will then explore the effects of both positive and negative peer pressure to illustrate the importance of remaining cautious. Finally, we will list a few steps you can take to protect yourself against unwanted peer pressure.

Learning objectives

• Understand that peer pressure is unavoidable in most social settings and groups
• Identify the different shapes and sizes peer pressure comes in. It can be positive, negative, spoken, unspoken, direct and indirect
• Realize that peer pressure can cause both positive and negative effects
• Identify ways to lessen the impact that peer pressure may have on you

What is peer pressure?

A major challenge for teenagers is peer pressure and we chose to give it special attention because it is widespread. Peer pressure is pressure felt by one’s social group or another individual to behave, act or look in a certain way, which can be either good or bad. It can occur very early, at around 10 years of age, as a child begins to form or enter friend groups and this phenomenon tends to increase over time as the child enters its teenage years.

Adolescence is a time when you start forming your own identity as an individual, whilst your hormones are changing. During this time of instability, due to the changes taking place, you may be more vulnerable to the influence of your peers; peer pressure. Teenagers’ main concern at this time in their lives is fitting in and being part of a group. As a result, this strong desire to make friends and social connections may prove to guide their every decision. Some teens may feel worried that they need to do certain things or follow specific rules in order to be accepted by their peers, whilst others feel the need to experiment and try new things simply out of curiosity or because others are doing them. However, this can easily get out of hand and cloud their judgement.

Action Steps – Exercise 1 (5-minute clip + 5-minute discussion)

• Now let’s hear what UCL psychologist Sarah-Jayne Blakemore has to say about the power of peers during adolescence:

Adolescent risk-takers: The power of peers

• Share with us a time when you experienced peer pressure.  How did you deal with it?

Types of peer pressure

The types of peer pressure are a bit complicated since there are several categories and subcategories involved. Direct peer pressure can be spoken or unspoken. Indirect peer pressure tends to be unspoken. Now all these can either be negative or positive. Sounds complicated right? Let’s explain.

1) Direct Peer Pressure

This can be either spoken or unspoken. Direct peer pressure usually circles around behavior. Examples include, when teenager A hands teenager B a beer, or, when teenager A tells teenager B to have a beer, and generally, whenever teenager A either tells or indicates to teenager B what to do and how to behave. In a lot of these cases, the teenager has to make an on-the-spot decision.

2) Indirect Peer Pressure

Indirect peer pressure is sort of “disguised”, but can still put a lot of pressure on a young teenager. If a teenager finds out that the popular kids are doing drugs or drinking alcohol at a party it may push them towards experimenting as a way to gain acceptance and be liked. Examples include, when teenager B mimics the behavior of teenager A, even if teenager A is not in contact with teenager B to affect their behavior directly.

3) Spoken Peer Pressure

Spoken peer pressure occurs when a teenager directly asks, recommends or convivences another teenager to behave in a specific way. Spoken peer pressure is when a teenager directly asks, suggests, persuades, and so on, another teenager to do something or behave in a certain way. The previous example of teenager A telling teenager B to have a beer is an example of spoken peer pressure. Usually, if spoken peer pressure takes place in a one-to-one setting, the person being pressured is more likely to stick to their own personal values. On the contrary, if this occurs in a group setting, the person being pressured is more likely to give in and follow the group, proving that peer pressure can be much more effective in a group environment.

4) Unspoken Peer Pressure

Unspoken peer pressure occurs when a teenager observes the behaviors and actions of other teenagers/peers and has to decide whether they want to follow those actions or not. Unspoken peer pressure may be present in various forms, including fashion, interactions and participation in clubs/social groups, with teenagers often being easily influenced by their older or popular friends.

5) Negative Peer Pressure

Asking a teenager to behave in a way that goes against their morals and values is a type of negative peer pressure. Teens see the actions of other teens with different personalities to theirs, who are more popular and so on, putting them in the position to follow the ‘‘leader’’ or face social exclusion. It can be very common for teens to act against their values if that means gaining acceptance from their peers. Young people often lack the skills to say no to negative peer pressure and prioritize what they personally think is right.

6) Positive Peer Pressure

Sometimes peer pressure can lead to positive influence if the attitudes, actions and behaviors being followed are healthy, appropriate and broadly speaking socially acceptable. For example, if a teenager has the best grades in class, their friend may be positively motivated to study. If all members of a teenage team decide not to drink but instead focus on staying healthy and maximize performance, then this will have a positive influence on all team members.

Action Steps – Exercise 2 (6-minute clip + 9-minute discussion):

Peer pressure- The Cost of a Crush

Having watched this clip, please answer the following question:

• Please identify all the instances where peer pressure took place in this clip along with its type (positive/ negative, spoken/unspoken, direct/indirect)

Effects of peer pressure

The effects of peer pressure can be expressed in various ways depending on the person. For example, a teen with limited levels of self-confidence and not many friends, may be more likely to be influenced by negative peer pressure, while a confident, extroverted teen may be more likely to give, as well as receive, positive peer pressure. In other words, peer pressure can play on certain strengths or challenges that a teen already faces. Negative peer pressure can be damaging to a teen’s self-confidence and self-worth, it can influence clear decision-making, and increase stress. In the worst and most extreme cases, it can lead to harmful or dangerous behaviors. Negative peer pressure may show its ugly face on all social settings and groups such as the family and school.

Typical examples include:

• Developing bad habits such as drugs, alcohol and other substance abuse
• Bullying
• Stealing
• Cheating
• Skipping class
• Lower grades at school
• Distancing from family members, especially parents, resulting in less time spent at home
• Worsening mental health, including anxiety and depression

It should be noted though, that peer pressure can have positive effects as well. While negative peer pressure gets way more attention for obvious reasons, it isn’t the only type that affects teens. Teens that surround themselves with positive people can also see the effects. When teenagers surround themselves with people who are making good decisions and who participate in positive activities, behaviors and choices, this typically encourages teenagers to improve. Having such friends will likely improve self-esteem and confidence. If this type of peer pressure occurs at school, it could improve a teen’s grades as well. For example, if you hang out with the right crowd, you may be positively affected in the following areas:

• Improving grades and performance at school
• Developing leadership skills
• Participating in rewarding extracurricular activities
• Volunteering
• Trying more things
• Improving self esteem
• Improving communication

Put simply, positive peer pressure can create a sense of belonging and boost self-confidence. What should be clear by now is that peer pressure can come in different forms, shapes and sizes. However, one thing is for sure. As long as you socialize with people, then peer pressure is unavoidable. Therefore, every effort should be directed towards minimizing its negative effects and guiding it towards the right direction. It will be hard to notice peer pressure and even harder to admit being its “victim”, which is why we are saying all these.  We will now explore some tactics you can use to take peer pressure head on.

How to handle peer pressure

Handling peer pressure is not an easy task, particularly when you are younger. However, there are some ways/approaches/attitudes that we can try in order to avoid it, minimize its effects or even resist it. Our efforts are focused towards handling negative peer pressure and we have grouped them in three categories:

1)  Preventing (anticipating) peer pressure

• Seek out positive relationships and choose friends who respect you and do not put unfair pressure on you. This way, you will be less likely to fall victim to negative pressure.
• Be confident, independent, think for yourself and believe in your ability to make decisions, trusting your instinct. Stand your ground when you don’t want to do something.
• Avoid social settings where negative peer pressure is likely to occur. If for example a friend invites you to a bar when you are 16, then you know what to expect.
• Have a communication system with your parents. For example, a code word that when you text it to them, they will either call you or text you to help you out of a situation.
• Most importantly, remember that you don’t have to be liked by everyone.

2)  Responding to peer pressure

• Check with yourself. If you get a bad feeling about something, even if you said yes, ask yourself: “Does this seem right to me? What are the pros/ cons of this choice?”
• If you don’t feel comfortable with doing something, the simplest and most effective thing to do is firmly say “No”. You’d be surprised how effective a simple “No” can be. There is a chance that people might keep pressuring you, but in most cases a “No” tends to end the discussion.
• Delay without rejecting, if saying “No” sounds difficult, and you can say: “Maybe another time.”  Alternatively, you can delay giving an answer like: “Can I get back to you later about this?”
• Make up an excuse: “I can’t have a drink, I’m on medication”.

3)  Dealing with the effects of peer pressure

• Have an open line of communication with your parents. They can help you, advise you and even assist you in dealing with negative peer pressure. As grown ups they might think of something that you haven’t thought by yourself.
• Change your circle of friends. If your friends keep putting you on the spot and you increasingly feel uncomfortable with their actions and behavior, then you might want to start distancing yourself from them. This can happen gradually so as not to cause friction. There are other people out there who are closer to what you want and need.
• Keep a journal. Dealing with strong emotions such as anger and feelings of betrayal or disappointment can be hard, so use a journal to sort out your feelings which will help you cope. Your journal should be your safe place where you feel comfortable expressing yourself. The journal can also be a place you can return to for advice.

Lesson wrap-up

Today’s lesson was about the phenomenon of peer pressure. Peer pressure is a reality of our everyday lives, irrespective of our age. It is something that we experience throughout our lives, however, we are much more vulnerable to it during our teenage years. We began by defining peer pressure, before listing all the different types of peer pressure in order to show that it is not always a bad thing, despite that we tend to focus on its negative impact. We then discussed the different effects that peer pressure – positive and negative – can have on you and then turned to a few techniques that you can employ to minimize or even avoid its negative effects.

At this point we will wrap up today’s lesson.  First, we will go over the learning objectives of this lesson and we want your feedback as to whether they have been achieved and then we will address any questions you may have.  Please feel free to ask anything you’d like in relation to today’s lesson and we would love to hear how the concepts we discussed today relate to you and your life!