Choices and responsibility

Key topic

It is always exciting to have the freedom to make your own choices, but it is essential to know how to make them; how you make these choices counts. During this lesson we will go over the importance of making good choices and the fact that with each choice comes responsibility, which you must learn to accept.

Learning objectives

• Understand the process of decision – making
• Discover how you can make good choices
• Recognize the responsibilities that come with making choices
• Figure out ways to accept the responsibility of your every choice

Choices in life

If you remember what we have discussed so far, you should recall that sports are a reflection of real life. There are a lot of transferable skills that you acquire in sports and you can and should utilize in your everyday life.

Imagine you are on the pitch and there is a penalty awarded to the opposing team. You have the choice to complain to the referee and feel sad or down or angry, and dwell on that decision; or you have the choice to get on with it, and try to win the game. Imagine the coach announcing the starting line up in the dressing room and you are not in it, despite the fact that you had a good week in practice and you feel ready and eager to compete. You have the choice to complain or feel disappointed and disengage from the team’s collective goal of winning the game, or you can accept the decision and encourage your teammates to go out and perform well, and maybe you’ll get a chance as a substitute to prove your worth.

In life it’s exactly the same. Every day you are faced with choices. Actually, the choices you are asked to make are endless and they start from a very young age; making the choice to behave properly, study in school, help around the house, beg punctual for practice and so on. These are all choices you have to make each day. Sometimes these choices are decided based on habits, something we discussed in a previous lesson, or they are based on your attitude and philosophy and they just come naturally.  Choices will get harder as you grow up.

The decision-making process

The decision-making process has a number of components, which we will look into below using an example.

• What is the decision? Before you can make the right choice you first need to recognize the problem/ question that needs to be solved. Identify the importance behind this decision.

It’s time to decide which college to attend. Obviously, this is a huge decision for your future, in relation to sports and education, as well as other factors. You need to make a choice between three schools which are actively recruiting you and have shown interest in you.

• Collect information. The second step is collecting information in order to make informed decisions based on real data. You will subsequently need to make a value judgement to determine which information is more important for the decision at hand. What is it that you need to know in order to make the correct decision for the said problem?

You need to explore your options by gathering as much information as possible. In terms of sports, you probably will have to know if the interested colleges are offering a scholarship or any other sort of financial aid. You would want to get to know the coaching staff, the type of program they are running, short, medium, long-term goals, the competition you will have over the first two years at least, how you fit in the program and so on.  In terms of education, you would want to look into the majors they offer, what courses they have that fit your needs, classroom and other facilities, financial aid and so on. You should also look into the social aspect of the school in terms of accommodation, meals, entertainment, proximity to home, the market in which the school operates, tradition, culture and anything else that might be of importance to you.

• Weighing alternatives. After you have identified and understood the problem/ question, it is time to start coming up with possible solutions. It’s likely that you have many different alternatives, so it is vital to identify them in order to weigh all your options. This will enable you to choose the course of action that leads to accomplishing your objective.

School A is offering a full scholarship to you as an athlete. It’s a D2 school, in a big city, with access to state-of-the-art facilities and a good campus in the downtown area. School B is offering a roster spot and a provisional full academic scholarship. It’s a D1 school, a great sports program, which does very well in the NCAA tournament each year, ranked top-50 in the country in the sport. There is top competition for playing time. In terms of majors, they have exactly what you are looking for. School C is offering a full sports scholarship as a D1 school. It’s not nationally ranked, but competes for a conference-birth in the NCAA. It does not offer the major you want, but has other similar majors in the industry of your choice. It’s very close to home, and the campus is located in an isolated area away from the city.

• Assess the evidence. Next, you need to consider and evaluate which option best suits your situation, which is actually doable, and which will be most acceptable by others, if indeed your choice affects them. List all the pros and cons. It is also important to consider which option has the highest probability of success. It may be helpful to get a second opinion for a different viewpoint which might help you see things differently.

Based on the priorities you set, you will evaluate your three choices.

• Is D1 a priority?
• Is a full scholarship a priority?
• Is a college major more important than playing time?
• Do you want to visit home every other weekend?
• Can you see yourself working with the coaching staff for four years and feeling comfortable about your development as a player?
• Is the team offering access to a metropolitan area with good sponsorships and TV rights available for the team?

This is where you have to make comparisons between schools, based on your priorities and decide which situation is better for you overall. There is no one-size-fits-all approach; it’s totally dependent on what you want to do.

• Choose among alternatives. To make your decision you need to weigh in the risk factor. It might also be possible to go for a combination of alternatives once you’ve fully appreciated the associated risks and alternatives.

It’s time to make a choice. Based on your priorities, based on the mix of sports-education-social life – other circumstances, you should choose one of the schools.  Remember this is a choice based on the individual. Other people will probably make different choices. It’s not about your parents, coaches and friends. It’s not about what the local newspaper or media says you should do. You decide. It’s your choice and also your responsibility to live with this choice.

• Take action. The next thing is constructing an action plan. You will need to decide what you need to execute the plan, in terms of resources and support from other parties.

Once you have made a choice, you should sign a National Letter of Intent. Next you should plan to make a visit to the school and prepare for your arrival there.

• Revisit your decision. Reviewing your decision is as important as making the decision in the first place. Unfortunately, most people overlook this. How effective was your choice? Was it the right call? You essentially need to evaluate your decision. Did you make the right call? Can you/ Do you want to change anything? Have you learnt anything for next time?

Before the end of your senior year, go back and rethink of your decision and make sure you are still comfortable with it. If not, you still have time to make another choice. At the end of each year in college, you should evaluate your presence at the school and make sure you are both giving and receiving what you anticipated and wished for.

How to make good choices

Once you understand the decision-making process, which is the “how to make choices” part, then you need to start weighing in on how to turn choices into good decisions. Obviously, the choices you make have to be aligned with your overall plan for success in life and your strategy to achieve the goal for which you are making a choice.

Remember to utilize the elements discussed in previous lessons, such as being proactive in your behavior and decision-making. Make sure you remain calm and trust your philosophy and attitude to guide you in making these choices. On top of that, be confident and optimistic, but also be disciplined and do not allow yourself to be carried away by public opinion, or by what you think others would expect you to choose or decide. Stay focused on all the above that are yours, and yours only, and make the choice or decision that you feel is best or most appropriate.

In addition, consider the following steps to help you improve the quality of your choices and decisions:

• Focus on the bigger picture. It is easier than you think to get bogged down by insignificant issues in life. If you fail to understand that, you won’t have time for the things that matter. If it’s not a life-altering choice, do treat it as such.
• Consider your values. Decide by incorporating your beliefs and values and your life philosophy.
• Learn from your experiences. Learn from your past decisions and experiences as well as those of others. Think back on situations where you’ve had a similar choice to make.
• Know what you know. Don’t try to be an expert in everything. Seek input and advice when needed from trusted and experienced sources.
• Keep the right perspective. View an issue from every angle and be honest in your assessment of facts.
• Don’t stall. There is no such thing as a decision based on perfect information; you’ll never have that. Very rarely do people make perfect choices. Do take time to consider your options, but act within a reasonable timeframe.
• Create awareness of the consequences. Take the time to make yourself aware of possible consequences on each of the alternatives you consider as possible choices.
• Envision the outcome. Having created the necessary awareness, then try to envision the outcome of your choice or decision, by attempting to predict how this choice will affect you or others, or how the situation may change.

Once you make a decision, focus in making it work instead of thinking what if. You can’t turn the clock back; it’s purely a waste of time and energy. Life is about making your peace with where you are now, where you have been, and where you’re headed; particularly where you are headed because it’s the only of the three scenarios that you can influence. Find reasons to be proud of who you are, what you are and your impact and relationship on others. This of course depends upon the choices you make, so be serious about it.

Action Steps – Exercise 1 (3-minutes video + 7 minutes discussion)

• Watch this 3-minute video and discuss in class.  After watching the video, the students should each tell the class about a good and a bad choice they have made along with the consequences of those choices.

Teenagers and Responsible Decision Making

With choices comes responsibility

Choice is a powerful thing. Every choice that you make creates the life you live. However, choice does not come without a price, and that price is responsibility. We all love choice, but when it comes to responsibility, well, that’s another story.

If you choose to skip class, you should own the responsibility of missing out on an important lecture and not getting a good grade. If you choose to skip practice, you should take responsibility for not making the game-list of the upcoming game. If your choice is to spend all your allowance on a new gadget you want, you should realize that you will have the responsibility to get by without any money in hand, until your next allowance.

With choice comes great power; with choice, freedom is created, but with freedom comes great responsibility. You have the freedom to make the choices that you want, but also need to take responsibility for those choices. When you are able to take responsibility for every choice you make, you truly embrace the real power that comes with choice and the freedom to live your life as you choose.

The world doesn’t always provide great examples of taking responsibility. Think of a post- game interview where an athlete blames the referee’s decisions for a loss; or think about how many times in practice you, as a passer or receiver, will think that it’s the other guy’s fault for losing the ball; we see politicians doing it, we hear of people suing companies for spilling hot coffee on themselves, we hear of corporation executives blaming everyone but themselves for the failure of their companies.

Pointing the finger at others might seem like the easy way out, but it comes with a price, and that price is the loss of personal power. Whenever you blame someone for a choice you have made, you give your power away. Learning to take responsibility can be a challenging lesson, but once you learn the power of taking responsibility, you will not want to go back. Choice allows you to create your life, and taking responsibility for all of those choices enables you to enjoy life on your own terms.

Accepting responsibility for your choices

Accepting responsibility has two basic components. The first component is accepting personal responsibility, which is taking ownership of your own behavior and the consequences of that behavior. Unless you acknowledge responsibility for your actions you will not be able to develop self-respect and you are doomed to remain stagnant. Although a cliché, it is true that we as human beings are flawed and make mistakes and poor choices from time to time. The same goes for when you fail to act when you know you actually should. There are times you look the other way when you know that the right thing to do is to take action. So, you should first understand one thing – you’re not the first person (nor will you be the last) who has fallen short in the personal behavior department from time to

The second component of accepting responsibility is indirect responsibility. It involves moving beyond yourself and taking action to help people or situations around you that call for help. While this component – indirect responsibility – may not rise to the level of personal responsibility, it does reveal something about your character and the type of person you are. Clearly, there are many people who’ll walk right by the person who is down in the street.  However, there are others who’ll quickly stop and try to help. It’s not hard to determine which of these two actions is the most responsible choice.

Not accepting responsibility has major consequences; it has a huge negative effect on your own mind and heart to begin with, because knowing you should have taken responsibility for something and failed, tends to annoy and upset people in general. Taking responsibility for your actions will improve your life, as self-respect is the value you place on your own life. Therefore, one of the consequences of continuously failing to accept personal responsibility is that you will eventually view your life as having little to no real value. Accepting responsibility is a great way to receive the respect of those around you. Accepting responsibility is not easy, but it will pay you back more in the long-term than you can now imagine.

Remember that making choices is related to the process of decision-making. There is always a right and wrong choice, but usually the call for that either depends on each person or the thin line separating right from wrong. Taking responsibility is the normal thing to do, especially if deep inside you are sure you made the best possible decision, based on facts and options available and based on good intentions. If indeed something did not turn out to be a good choice, or even not the best available option, do take responsibility by doing the following:

• Take ownership of your choice
• Offer a sincere apology, if your choice affected others
• Make the necessary adjustments to correct your choice or change the outcome
• Accept whatever consequence comes with your choice
• Move on, learning from the experience

Action Steps – Exercise 2 (5-minute video and 5 minutes discussion)

• From the famous movie “Any given Sunday” – watch this video  

Al Pacino’s inspirational speech

• Ask yourself about the choices mentioned in the video and how you relate to them

Lesson wrap-up

Throughout your life you will be asked to make choices; some will be minor, others major; some will be life-changing and difficult while others will be easier. We introduced you to a way of structuring your thought process in order to help you make these decisions. Moreover, we explained that you have to own every choice you make, accepting responsibility for it. Accepting responsibility is important, particularly for your mistakes or wrong choices, if you are to learn from them.

At this point we will wrap up today’s lesson.  First, we will go over the learning objectives of this lesson and we want your feedback as to whether they have been achieved and then we will address any questions you may have.  Please feel free to ask anything you’d like in relation to today’s lesson and we would love to hear how the concepts we discussed today relate to you and your life!

Choices and responsibility

Key topic

It is always exciting to have the freedom to make your own choices, but it is essential to know how to make them; how you make these choices counts. During this lesson we will go over the importance of making good choices and the fact that with each choice comes responsibility, which you must learn to accept.

Learning objectives

• Understand the process of decision – making
• Discover how you can make good choices
• Recognize the responsibilities that come with making choices
• Figure out ways to accept the responsibility of your every choice

Choices in life

If you remember what we have discussed so far, you should recall that sports are a reflection of real life. There are a lot of transferable skills that you acquire in sports and you can and should utilize in your everyday life.

Imagine you are on the pitch and there is a penalty awarded to the opposing team. You have the choice to complain to the referee and feel sad or down or angry, and dwell on that decision; or you have the choice to get on with it, and try to win the game. Imagine the coach announcing the starting line up in the dressing room and you are not in it, despite the fact that you had a good week in practice and you feel ready and eager to compete. You have the choice to complain or feel disappointed and disengage from the team’s collective goal of winning the game, or you can accept the decision and encourage your teammates to go out and perform well, and maybe you’ll get a chance as a substitute to prove your worth.

In life it’s exactly the same. Every day you are faced with choices. Actually, the choices you are asked to make are endless and they start from a very young age; making the choice to behave properly, study in school, help around the house, beg punctual for practice and so on. These are all choices you have to make each day. Sometimes these choices are decided based on habits, something we discussed in a previous lesson, or they are based on your attitude and philosophy and they just come naturally.  Choices will get harder as you grow up.

The decision-making process

The decision-making process has a number of components, which we will look into below using an example.

• What is the decision? Before you can make the right choice you first need to recognize the problem/ question that needs to be solved. Identify the importance behind this decision.

It’s time to decide which college to attend. Obviously, this is a huge decision for your future, in relation to sports and education, as well as other factors. You need to make a choice between three schools which are actively recruiting you and have shown interest in you.

• Collect information. The second step is collecting information in order to make informed decisions based on real data. You will subsequently need to make a value judgement to determine which information is more important for the decision at hand. What is it that you need to know in order to make the correct decision for the said problem?

You need to explore your options by gathering as much information as possible. In terms of sports, you probably will have to know if the interested colleges are offering a scholarship or any other sort of financial aid. You would want to get to know the coaching staff, the type of program they are running, short, medium, long-term goals, the competition you will have over the first two years at least, how you fit in the program and so on.  In terms of education, you would want to look into the majors they offer, what courses they have that fit your needs, classroom and other facilities, financial aid and so on. You should also look into the social aspect of the school in terms of accommodation, meals, entertainment, proximity to home, the market in which the school operates, tradition, culture and anything else that might be of importance to you.

• Weighing alternatives. After you have identified and understood the problem/ question, it is time to start coming up with possible solutions. It’s likely that you have many different alternatives, so it is vital to identify them in order to weigh all your options. This will enable you to choose the course of action that leads to accomplishing your objective.

School A is offering a full scholarship to you as an athlete. It’s a D2 school, in a big city, with access to state-of-the-art facilities and a good campus in the downtown area. School B is offering a roster spot and a provisional full academic scholarship. It’s a D1 school, a great sports program, which does very well in the NCAA tournament each year, ranked top-50 in the country in the sport. There is top competition for playing time. In terms of majors, they have exactly what you are looking for. School C is offering a full sports scholarship as a D1 school. It’s not nationally ranked, but competes for a conference-birth in the NCAA. It does not offer the major you want, but has other similar majors in the industry of your choice. It’s very close to home, and the campus is located in an isolated area away from the city.

• Assess the evidence. Next, you need to consider and evaluate which option best suits your situation, which is actually doable, and which will be most acceptable by others, if indeed your choice affects them. List all the pros and cons. It is also important to consider which option has the highest probability of success. It may be helpful to get a second opinion for a different viewpoint which might help you see things differently.

Based on the priorities you set, you will evaluate your three choices.

• Is D1 a priority?
• Is a full scholarship a priority?
• Is a college major more important than playing time?
• Do you want to visit home every other weekend?
• Can you see yourself working with the coaching staff for four years and feeling comfortable about your development as a player?
• Is the team offering access to a metropolitan area with good sponsorships and TV rights available for the team?

This is where you have to make comparisons between schools, based on your priorities and decide which situation is better for you overall. There is no one-size-fits-all approach; it’s totally dependent on what you want to do.

• Choose among alternatives. To make your decision you need to weigh in the risk factor. It might also be possible to go for a combination of alternatives once you’ve fully appreciated the associated risks and alternatives.

It’s time to make a choice. Based on your priorities, based on the mix of sports-education-social life – other circumstances, you should choose one of the schools.  Remember this is a choice based on the individual. Other people will probably make different choices. It’s not about your parents, coaches and friends. It’s not about what the local newspaper or media says you should do. You decide. It’s your choice and also your responsibility to live with this choice.

• Take action. The next thing is constructing an action plan. You will need to decide what you need to execute the plan, in terms of resources and support from other parties.

Once you have made a choice, you should sign a National Letter of Intent. Next you should plan to make a visit to the school and prepare for your arrival there.

• Revisit your decision. Reviewing your decision is as important as making the decision in the first place. Unfortunately, most people overlook this. How effective was your choice? Was it the right call? You essentially need to evaluate your decision. Did you make the right call? Can you/ Do you want to change anything? Have you learnt anything for next time?

Before the end of your senior year, go back and rethink of your decision and make sure you are still comfortable with it. If not, you still have time to make another choice. At the end of each year in college, you should evaluate your presence at the school and make sure you are both giving and receiving what you anticipated and wished for.

How to make good choices

Once you understand the decision-making process, which is the “how to make choices” part, then you need to start weighing in on how to turn choices into good decisions. Obviously, the choices you make have to be aligned with your overall plan for success in life and your strategy to achieve the goal for which you are making a choice.

Remember to utilize the elements discussed in previous lessons, such as being proactive in your behavior and decision-making. Make sure you remain calm and trust your philosophy and attitude to guide you in making these choices. On top of that, be confident and optimistic, but also be disciplined and do not allow yourself to be carried away by public opinion, or by what you think others would expect you to choose or decide. Stay focused on all the above that are yours, and yours only, and make the choice or decision that you feel is best or most appropriate.

In addition, consider the following steps to help you improve the quality of your choices and decisions:

• Focus on the bigger picture. It is easier than you think to get bogged down by insignificant issues in life. If you fail to understand that, you won’t have time for the things that matter. If it’s not a life-altering choice, do treat it as such.
• Consider your values. Decide by incorporating your beliefs and values and your life philosophy.
• Learn from your experiences. Learn from your past decisions and experiences as well as those of others. Think back on situations where you’ve had a similar choice to make.
• Know what you know. Don’t try to be an expert in everything. Seek input and advice when needed from trusted and experienced sources.
• Keep the right perspective. View an issue from every angle and be honest in your assessment of facts.
• Don’t stall. There is no such thing as a decision based on perfect information; you’ll never have that. Very rarely do people make perfect choices. Do take time to consider your options, but act within a reasonable timeframe.
• Create awareness of the consequences. Take the time to make yourself aware of possible consequences on each of the alternatives you consider as possible choices.
• Envision the outcome. Having created the necessary awareness, then try to envision the outcome of your choice or decision, by attempting to predict how this choice will affect you or others, or how the situation may change.

Once you make a decision, focus in making it work instead of thinking what if. You can’t turn the clock back; it’s purely a waste of time and energy. Life is about making your peace with where you are now, where you have been, and where you’re headed; particularly where you are headed because it’s the only of the three scenarios that you can influence. Find reasons to be proud of who you are, what you are and your impact and relationship on others. This of course depends upon the choices you make, so be serious about it.

Action Steps – Exercise 1 (3-minutes video + 7 minutes discussion)

• Watch this 3-minute video and discuss in class.  After watching the video, the students should each tell the class about a good and a bad choice they have made along with the consequences of those choices.

How to make good choices

With choices comes responsibility

Choice is a powerful thing. Every choice that you make creates the life you live. However, choice does not come without a price, and that price is responsibility. We all love choice, but when it comes to responsibility, well, that’s another story.

If you choose to skip class, you should own the responsibility of missing out on an important lecture and not getting a good grade. If you choose to skip practice, you should take responsibility for not making the game-list of the upcoming game. If your choice is to spend all your allowance on a new gadget you want, you should realize that you will have the responsibility to get by without any money in hand, until your next allowance.

With choice comes great power; with choice, freedom is created, but with freedom comes great responsibility. You have the freedom to make the choices that you want, but also need to take responsibility for those choices. When you are able to take responsibility for every choice you make, you truly embrace the real power that comes with choice and the freedom to live your life as you choose.

The world doesn’t always provide great examples of taking responsibility. Think of a post- game interview where an athlete blames the referee’s decisions for a loss; or think about how many times in practice you, as a passer or receiver, will think that it’s the other guy’s fault for losing the ball; we see politicians doing it, we hear of people suing companies for spilling hot coffee on themselves, we hear of corporation executives blaming everyone but themselves for the failure of their companies.

Pointing the finger at others might seem like the easy way out, but it comes with a price, and that price is the loss of personal power. Whenever you blame someone for a choice you have made, you give your power away. Learning to take responsibility can be a challenging lesson, but once you learn the power of taking responsibility, you will not want to go back. Choice allows you to create your life, and taking responsibility for all of those choices enables you to enjoy life on your own terms.

Accepting responsibility for your choices

Accepting responsibility has two basic components. The first component is accepting personal responsibility, which is taking ownership of your own behavior and the consequences of that behavior. Unless you acknowledge responsibility for your actions you will not be able to develop self-respect and you are doomed to remain stagnant. Although a cliché, it is true that we as human beings are flawed and make mistakes and poor choices from time to time. The same goes for when you fail to act when you know you actually should. There are times you look the other way when you know that the right thing to do is to take action. So, you should first understand one thing – you’re not the first person (nor will you be the last) who has fallen short in the personal behavior department from time to

The second component of accepting responsibility is indirect responsibility. It involves moving beyond yourself and taking action to help people or situations around you that call for help. While this component – indirect responsibility – may not rise to the level of personal responsibility, it does reveal something about your character and the type of person you are. Clearly, there are many people who’ll walk right by the person who is down in the street.  However, there are others who’ll quickly stop and try to help. It’s not hard to determine which of these two actions is the most responsible choice.

Not accepting responsibility has major consequences; it has a huge negative effect on your own mind and heart to begin with, because knowing you should have taken responsibility for something and failed, tends to annoy and upset people in general. Taking responsibility for your actions will improve your life, as self-respect is the value you place on your own life. Therefore, one of the consequences of continuously failing to accept personal responsibility is that you will eventually view your life as having little to no real value. Accepting responsibility is a great way to receive the respect of those around you. Accepting responsibility is not easy, but it will pay you back more in the long-term than you can now imagine.

Remember that making choices is related to the process of decision-making. There is always a right and wrong choice, but usually the call for that either depends on each person or the thin line separating right from wrong. Taking responsibility is the normal thing to do, especially if deep inside you are sure you made the best possible decision, based on facts and options available and based on good intentions. If indeed something did not turn out to be a good choice, or even not the best available option, do take responsibility by doing the following:

• Take ownership of your choice
• Offer a sincere apology, if your choice affected others
• Make the necessary adjustments to correct your choice or change the outcome
• Accept whatever consequence comes with your choice
• Move on, learning from the experience

Action Steps – Exercise 2 (5-minute video and 5 minutes discussion)

• From the famous movie “Any given Sunday” – watch this video  

Al Pacino’s inspirational speech

• Ask yourself about the choices mentioned in the video and how you relate to them

Lesson wrap-up

Throughout your life you will be asked to make choices; some will be minor, others major; some will be life-changing and difficult while others will be easier. We introduced you to a way of structuring your thought process in order to help you make these decisions. Moreover, we explained that you have to own every choice you make, accepting responsibility for it. Accepting responsibility is important, particularly for your mistakes or wrong choices, if you are to learn from them.

At this point we will wrap up today’s lesson.  First, we will go over the learning objectives of this lesson and we want your feedback as to whether they have been achieved and then we will address any questions you may have.  Please feel free to ask anything you’d like in relation to today’s lesson and we would love to hear how the concepts we discussed today relate to you and your life!