The day after NCAA recruitment ends

Key topic

Families, parents and student-athletes need to be prepared for whatever the NCAA recruiting outcome is. This presentation shows how important it is to have options and what these options are. It also discusses social issues that are raised accordingly in each scenario. The lesson is essentially divided in the three possible scenarios: going to college to play sports, going to college but not to compete in sports, and not going to college at all.

Learning objectives

• Understand your role as parents in the transition from high school to college
• Develop the appropriate approach to deal with any possible outcome of the recruiting process
• Discover the importance of preparation for life past high school sports
• Create the conditions that will help your kids maximize the opportunities that they will have in life

The day after NCAA recruiting ends

The end of the recruiting period for high school athletes tends to differ from one case to another. You are already aware of the legal part of recruiting and when it is supposed to officially stop (because of rules), but the actual ending could come a lot sooner than anticipated.

Athletes could sign a National Letter of Intent relatively early in their high school career, even before the end of their junior year. So, for them, it’s the end of the recruiting period; unless of course sometime down the road something extraordinary happens (ie: athletes change their minds, or colleges are sanctioned by the NCAA and lose roster spots and scholarship spots). In any case, more often than not, the signing of a National Letter of  Intent will end the process and then your children-athletes, your families and yourselves can start planning for the day after.

In other cases, the scenario is completely opposite. Athletes might receive little to no interest in their junior and early senior years, hence they have a very good sign as to what to expect of the overall process; mind you, this is not to say that late recruiting won’t happen and actually in previous presentations we identified the need for continuous effort and focus on the task of getting recruited, even until the last possible date. But in all honesty, if there has been no interest for over a year, it is often the case that last-minute miracles will show up once every blue moon.

The third scenario of course is that athletes do get actively recruited but are waiting until the last minute to receive a National Letter of Intent from a college; the so-called borderline cases, which are not top options for college coaches, but fall-back options and it all becomes a matter of coincidence, or luck, whether or not they get offered a roster spot in some school.

Whatever the scenario in your family, this is not the end of the road. It’s actually the beginning, as indicated in the title, it’s day one. It’s the first day of a new life, a new approach, with new goals and new dreams. This is how the sporting world is and you have to learn to accept it and of course teach your kids to do so too. Every day is a new challenge  and the road is never a straight line.

Going to college to play sports: Prepare for the challenges, treat them like a checklist

This is the preferred scenario of course, one we all wish will soon materialize for you. The  day after the signing of a National Letter of Intent is probably the best day of your kids’ lives (thus far). It all starts to sink in and satisfaction peaks. Family friends, classmates, high school officials are all praising your kids and euphoria is evident. BUT…

School is not over yet. There are classes to be attended and the overall GPA is still important of course. There are still practices and games to be played #. You should make it a point for your athletes to understand that this is Day One.

During practice, athletes should exemplify true commitment to the current team and its goals, working equally hard as before and avoiding complacency and disregard. Having secured a spot at college is no reason to miss practice, or slack off during practice, or exhibit any sort of arrogant behavior to coaches, teammates and other team personnel or high school officials. They need to remain focused, determined, driven and give their all, day in and day out.

If anything, remember how we discussed the need to teach your kids to be grateful. Part of their success is due to the people at that high school, on that high school team; their coaches, teammates and teachers. Be sure to point out to them their moral and sporting obligation to see the season through in success and go after every goal they had (individually and collectively) prior to the signing of the Letter. Remind them that an important ingredient of success is commitment and focus. Their future obligations, no matter how much more exciting they seem to be, are something they will have to deal with later; they still have to finish the task at hand. This sends a strong message to their current and future coaches and teammates that they posses the required level of maturity and professionalism. This is what separates the good from the great as their attitude towards the team now is a manifestation of their commitment and their maturity and their true potential (sporting and social).

If the kids start viewing themselves as above their current team and exemplify arrogance, then that is a bad sign for the future. This kind of approach and attitude will manifest itself again and again in different contexts and scenarios unless it’s nipped in the bud. Doing things the right way, after all, proves that the college who picked them, got a good deal and knew what it was doing.

The same holds true for game situations. Don’t let your athletes become talkers on the court, just because they are going to play college sports in the future. Remind them that they step on the floor, they should be doers and not talkers. Have them mind their behavior and approach towards referees (the easy scapegoats in all cases), as well as fans and the opposing team. Fair play, respect, and playing the right way at any time is probably the end lesson of any college program, so have your kids learn it as early as possible.

A very daunting issue with the process of early signing of the Letter is that of sport injuries. Athletes, all of a sudden, become very conscious about the possibility of an injury occurring; this leads to diminished effort in practice and games, a lack of passion and dedication in the high school days remaining and it all ultimately translates to decreased performance. Your kids don’t have to prove anything to others. But at the same time, they cannot behave like glass objects, fragile and in danger. It could also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, if

Murphy’s law is to be believed. If they were doing fine until now then there is no reason to believe that they must change their game and style to avoid injuries. They will be fine in any case.

In class, athletes need to do their best work yet to keep those good grades and get their high school diploma with flying colors. Respecting teachers and classmates, is a sign of maturity; doing the work and carrying the load is a sign of determination and good things come from these qualities; they are rewarded. Don’t allow your athletes to step back from their leading roles in the classroom and on the playing field. Ask them to treat the situation as a pre- college step, where inevitably they will have to again prove they belong in that college program, academically and athletically.

Everyone knows that kids and especially teens can be irrational and erratic. Even adults, whenever they are anticipating a positive and major change in their lives can become too eager to get there and neglect the remaining few steps of the journey to that destination. Young teenagers are even worse. Try to explain to them that the best way of dealing with the task ahead is first to take a deep breath and try to enjoy the final chapters of this book before focusing on the next. They can still improve and learn and develop, which will prove valuable for their collegiate career. Teach them that they have to be meticulous up until the final pages of the last chapter and absorb as much as they can. What comes next, although new and exciting, will be much more challenging that what they were used to up until now.

Provided your kids have secured their college sports plans, it is time to ask yourself if you are indeed ready for the financial aspect of going to college. Did your athlete get a scholarship? Is the scholarship full or not? It’s time to revisit that family financial plan we discussed previously as well as the family budget. Soon enough (the following year actually) you will have a kid in college. Is the college savings fund ready? Can the family sustain its quality of life with a kid being in college? These are all questions to be addressed as soon as your kid signs the Letter.

Next big question on the checklist:  College major! This is where things get really tricky. You probably are aware that your kids want to go to college to play sports, and not necessarily to get an education. It’s the adolescent maturity level of athletes that will not allow them to plan so far ahead and so their first thought is to pick a major that will allow them to focus on their sport rather than pick a major that will help them later in life. This is a discussion that should start as early as freshman high school year because your kids need to learn the importance of choosing a good major, which fits their talents and skills, fits their character and aspirations, but also fits the plans they have for the future. Don’t let them or anyone else make excuses and take the easy way out. If they can be student-athletes in high school, they can be in college too. Allow no limitations on this subject and encourage free, sport-less (if possible) thinking on the matter of choosing a college major.

College is the point of life when students obtain the tools and essential skills that will assist them throughout their professional career; few realize how lucky they are to even be in college. Whether they make it to professional sports or not, student athletes should choose a major that aligns with their interests and provides them with future opportunities; they should not just choose a major which is convenient and easily accessible. Selecting a major that is both relevant and interesting can increase a student’s likelihood of academic success and prepare them for a fulfilling career. Usually, when deciding on their academic major, students are influenced by several factors, some of which are past experiences, social and family influences, passions, interests and career potential.

When it comes to student athletes, there are additional factors to consider when choosing their academic major. First, most student athletes see college as a stepping stone towards a professional career in sports and they tend to overlook the value of the academic aspect of their college experience. This is a cardinal mistake. You should not abandon your dream of becoming a professional athlete, nor should you sideline it, however, probabilities do not care about dreams, unfortunately. Approximately about 2% of student-athletes go on to become professionals, as we keep stressing. You should try and ingrain in your children’s head that they should strive to adopt a long-term perspective no matter how hard it is and always keep in the back of their mind that failure is a possibility. They should therefore devote attention to their education as well, which can ultimately become their safety cushion and your path to an alternative journey.

Second, they will have the burden of balancing two different lives, which are equally demanding; that of the student and that of the athlete. Student-athletes may not be able to pursue a given college academic major leading to their career of choice because of the demands of their sport. That might be the case with a degree in Mechanical engineering to give you an example, a degree which even full-time students struggle to attain and a considerable number fail for the simple reason that it is very demanding and requires a student’s full and unequivocal devotion and attention. Now, that by itself should not discourage them if that is where their passions lie, but at the same time, it is something you should definitely consider.

There is always a discussion whether the choice of academic major is driven by long-term career aspirations or by academic compromises. It is normal for student athletes to choose majors that are not demanding in order to accommodate their athletic obligations. Student athletes have a lot of pressure due to their sport anyway and might opt for something “lighter”. Usually, this pressure stems from expectations on behalf of their colleges and their family and it is difficult to direct themselves towards choosing a major that will provide them with top-notch career opportunities outside of sports.

A survey conducted by the athlete development platform Game Plan in 2018, showed that 41.9% of former student athletes reported that they would study a different major if they could go through college again.  When it comes to deciding which academic major to choose, it is important for student athletes to get professional advice. One important way advisors help student athletes maximize academic success is by guiding them to select a major that’s compatible with their personality and interests. They use personality tests, strength and interest assessments, career tests etc. to identify future career paths and academic majors which align with the student athletes’ interests.

As parents you should plan ahead and make it a point to visit the college and help your kids familiarize with the place where they will spend the next four years of their lives. It’s not a bad idea to identify places to shop, eat, spend free time etc. It’s not even a bad idea to identify places or situations that are potentially dangerous or hazardous and discuss them with your kids. Think of it as a pre-orientation exercise to familiarize with the surroundings. The transition is not easy and there are kids who are home sick all the time.  It would be a good strategy if you could encourage your kids to research the broader area of the college in order to familiarize themselves with the amenities, facilities and points of interest, such as diners, grocery stores, cafes, bars, drug stores and other things that are either essential or integral parts of your everyday life. This can give them some orientation and an idea about the landscape. That would make that first walk they are going to have on campus and the surrounding area, much more effective. Kids who have trouble adapting to new environments can use the extra help, in making the transition as smooth as possible; your kids will have enough on their plate with college courses and practice and games and classmates and love relationships etc; which brings us to another important crossroad.

It’s not wise to interfere in your kids’ love life transition. Long distance relationships, or new beginnings, or whatever else the case may be, let them figure it out on their own. Your examples don’t count any more, because obviously you didn’t have Facetime or Instagram, neither did you have the networking opportunities available today. It’s part of the growing up process, where planning is very important BUT so is making mistakes and falling flat on your face too. Don’t be afraid to see them mess up in some things. As long as sports and academics are in order, as long as the focus is unparalleled on the right things and they stay clear of dependencies like drugs, doping, gambling and the sort, the rest you can allow them to screw it up a bit. It’s part of becoming an adult.

My athlete is in college, but not in college sports

Nine out of ten parents attending this presentation will have to face this dreaded new reality pretty soon. However unfortunate it may be, it is the reality your athletes, your families and yourselves will have to deal with. Undoubtedly, the biggest disappointment is for your child, so your attitude will be key in order for them to deal with it. All this will apply to a good portion of these kids. However, there is the possibility that your child does not want or does not really care to go into collegiate sport. This will make everything easier. Also, explaining that sports is a huge industry with pundits, reporters, journalists, agents, lawyers,  marketeers and businessmen and not just athletes may help them understand that if sports is their passion, there are many ways to get and stay involved professionally.

This is the time when Day One actually has a whole new different meaning; because your kids now will have to focus their energy and efforts on academics and other things in life. But before they do, they will have to finish high school first. Just like we discussed for athletes that do make it in college sports, athletes that don’t, continue to have the same obligations towards high school sports and their respective teams, as well as academic obligations in finishing the year strong. It could be argued that for them, academics, will be even more important.

Allow some flexibility that will help them recuperate and regroup. Start talking to them about the new life that’s ahead of them. Such failures can seem insurmountable to the young brain who doesn’t know much about life and that they will probably need to rethink their choices, dreams, aspirations and lives several times in the next 40 years. Without being condescending, you should try and find a way to tell them just that, and that it all will work out in the end, even if they can’t see it right now, because things work out in the end.

Choosing the right major is essential, even more essential for the athletes that will play sports in college. The exact same facts hold true for both groups. They have to choose wisely and carefully and choose a major that will open doors for them in the future. The upside, is that they will now be able to focus fully on their academic pursuits and enjoy every aspect of university; things that most student-athletes might miss out.

Don’t allow room for disappointment and giving up. Don’t allow your kids to shut down, or become isolated, or even worse go into a state of depression. Remind them that they have not failed and they have not failed you; apparently others were better at some things or were luckier and aided by circumstances. Repeat to them over and over again that this is not the end of the road, but only a new beginning.

Once they pick their college and major, follow the same exact advice for athletes that will play sports and will visit their colleges for a pre-orientation family exercise. It is a very helpful idea to present this new life, this new Day One to them, by actually showing them around the college campus and doing all the things necessary to prepare for college life, such as picking accommodation, shopping etc.

The fact that your kids will no longer have sports to focus on and spend their energy, makes it even more imperative for you to discuss with your kids the challenges that college life will bring. They will have free time in their hands that they never had before, and lots of energy to spare, often not knowing what to do with them both. Empower your kids to make good and safe life choices, away from harmful dependencies and any activities that can jeopardize their academic pursuits. Remember, part-time jobs and community engagement can help a great deal in this. Make academics their new personal goal, or encourage them to set new goals having to do with becoming successful in life, or gaining life experiences, or volunteering to work for sports in other capacities or choosing to be socially active in their new communities; social responsibility and environmental issues are hot topics in general and our society needs all the volunteers and active participants it can get.

Action steps – Exercise 1 (10 minutes)

Do you feel prepared to deal with the scenario where your kid gets into college but not in college sports?

How do you think they will react and how do you plan to respond to their reaction?

My athlete is not in college at all

Something obviously went wrong here. It could be the case of an athlete being of top sporting performance, but poor academic performance; it could be the case of poor academic and sporting performance combined. Regardless which of the two scenarios holds true, it is obvious that invasive intervention needs to take place on your behalf so that your kids can get back on the right track.

If an athlete is good enough to play college sports, then the entire support system should device a strategy to help them raise academic standards. Repeating the senior year of high school could be an option. Going to a prep school or a community college, to improve their grades and then make the transition to NCAA sports, could also be an option.

If your child is not the best student or athlete then the strategy has to differ completely. Again, the concept of Day One has a whole new different meaning. Discussing your child’s future will entail help from several experts whether that be career counsellors, professional recruiters etc. The young adult has to figure out how and where they belong in these new life circumstances. Going to college was never the only option in life for any high school student and like already said, life is never a straight line.

Encourage your children to seek that niche that makes them different. Being different is never a bad thing and, remember to mention that the world’s most successful people included several without college education. If possible, then yes you should push them to retry and get accepted in a higher learning institution. But making the transition from high school to work is also an acceptable choice. Owning that decision and feeling comfortable that you and your kids made a good decision on the matter is important.

Professional qualifications, in such instances, are a good alternative and perhaps a much needed one. You will all discover that society and the job market has needs outside college majors that will earn a very respectable living and will account for a fulfilling life down the road. There are places in the world where oversaturation of certain jobs has led to lower salaries than jobs that are not considered high- skilled. For example, after Brexit, the UK faced a shortage of bus drivers which led to higher wages for bus drivers.

Below we list a non-exhaustive list of diverse jobs that do not require higher education which usually bring very good salaries. However, some may require training that might be provided by the employer nonetheless:

• Real estate agent
• Paralegal
• Insurance agent
• Farmer
• Web developer
• Customer service representative
• Driver
• Appliance technician
• Plumber
• Administrative assistant
• Carpenter
• Electrician
• Marketing representative
• Sales representative

Often times, kids that come out of high school without a purpose or a sense of  belongingness tend to drift apart mentally and psychologically. It’s not uncommon to find themselves running with the wrong crowd, or trying to acquire what they feel was deprived of them, by illegal means. Be extra careful not to let your kids go down that road. Work with them on the psychological empowerment of getting up in the morning and making something of their life; encourage them to seek alternatives to a college education, stressing that they have nothing to be embarrassed about. Offer plenty of love and support, as usual, and try to stay as close to them as possible. They need you now, more than ever.

Action steps – Exercise 2 (10 minutes)

What do you plan to tell your kids if they don’t make it to college or if they don’t want to go to college? How will you have the discussion and what will you advise them?

Lesson wrap-up

Today’s lesson was dedicated to the three possible scenarios: Going to college to play sports, going to college but without sports involvement and not going to college at all. We explained that all three scenarios have their own perks and challenges and tried to provide some  useful tips on how to deal with these scenarios individually.

At this point we will wrap up today’s lesson. First, we will go over the learning objectives of this lesson and we want your feedback as to whether they have been achieved and then we will address any questions you may have. Please feel free to ask anything you’d like in relation to today’s lesson and we would love to hear how the concepts we discussed today relate to your athlete kids and your family!