Powerful communication skills for success

Key topic

This is a very important lesson in learning the true power of good communication, its components and types, as well as how it can be used best to your benefit. We will discuss how communication can be developed and explore the interplay between listening and speaking.

Learning objectives

• Understand the concept of effective communication, its components and sources
• Discover how to distinguish effective vs non-effective communication
• Recognize what to avoid in your communication with others
• Figure out ways to communicate effectively

What is communication?

Communication is the art of transmitting knowledge, information or ideas via different means including speech, writing, visuals and other various methods. The process includes a sender who communicates a message and a recipient who receives the message. In  between, the speech or ideas need to be tailored to the audience be that a single or multiple or a collection of individuals in order to enable them to decode the message.

When communication occurs, it typically happens in one of four ways: verbal, nonverbal, written and visual. Communication can be informal, which is what you do when talking to your friends, or it can be formal, just like you discuss an issue with your school principal. Communication nowadays can be done from a distance with the use of technology; the internet, smart phones and various applications have made that possible. People very often neglect communication. People constantly exchange information, meaning that people are always either receiving or transmitting information. Understanding the different methods of exchanging information is important, especially during school when interacting with classmates, teachers etc. Communication is also important for your interactions within your team, whether that is in the dressing room or the playing field, with teammates or coaches, opponents, referees, fans, media, etc.

Now, let’s look at the different types of communication so that you understand how each type works.

1. Verbal Communication
   Verbal communication seems like the most obvious of the different types of communication. It utilizes the spoken word, either face-to-face or remotely. Verbal communication is essential to most interactions, but there are other nonverbal cues that help provide additional context to the words themselves. Pairing nonverbal communication with the spoken word provides a more nuanced message.
2. Nonverbal Communication
   Nonverbal communication is that which occurs without speaking; it can be a smile, body language, a signal even, and so on. These are all non-verbal types of communications, which provide insight into the speaker’s choice of words. Sarcasm, deception or genuineness tend to occur with nonverbal means. These things are usually conveyed through hand gestures, facial expressions, posture, even appearance, all of which can communicate something  about the speaker. As the Linguist J.L. Austin stressed, the key to understanding both nonverbal and verbal communications is intentionality. In other words, in order to understand what the other person is saying, you need to answer the question “What is their intention?”
3. Written Communication
   This is pretty much self-explanatory. Written communication involves the passing or exchange of information through writing. There are many ways that written communication can be used and that number is increasing with the penetration of smartphones and the internet, which has made written communication much more informal.
4. Visual Communication
   Visual means of communication include a variety of things such maps, drawings, signs, as well as color or graphic design. These typically complement verbal communication, and they can assist in conveying a point. Visual aids can also help the speaker remember important points, give the audience something to look at, and generally help transmit the desired message.

Communication can be both formal and informal. If you are texting a friend on a smart phone app, your communication is most likely informal; you are using casual language, abbreviations, emojis to loosely communicate with your friend. If you are asked to give a post-game interview for a newspaper, radio, or TV, you most likely will have to use formal communication, which will include verbal and non -verbal communication to convey the message better.

Informal communication makes people more confident and forthcoming with their ideas and creativity; it does not create fear into people’s mind and encourages people to share their problems. Informal communication, however, is getting to be complex with the introduction of technology and you need to be careful not to get carried away and allow it to get out of hand. On the other hand, formal communication can be used to document information which can be used later as reference or a reminder. It can be more effective in a business- type approach, but at the same time it’s less personal and tends to create distance between the people communicating.

In closing this first part of your lesson on communication, you need to remember the saying that “words are mightier than swords”. You need to be careful in your communication, especially the informal one where it’s easy to get carried away, to choose language wisely, to respect the people communicating with you and to avoid embarrassment, hurting people’s feelings, or making a mess of things and getting yourself in trouble.

Let’s watch a 5-minute video with different examples of communication.

Active listening: How to communicate effectively

The importance of good/effective communication

Imagine yourself running down the field of play on offense and you are really open and want the ball to attack; you start signaling to your teammates, waving your raised arm trying to get the attention and make the pass happen; that’s a form of non-verbal communication taking place on the field of play which can be translated by your teammates and put to good use. Now, imagine having to sit with the Athletic Director at your school to discuss progress in class. Your responses, tone, use of language and body language will most probably be more formal and more thought out.

So, in essence, communication is very important in your life and not just right now, but throughout your life as well. If you want to be with a girl, you will have to ask her out the right way. If you want your teacher to explain something, you will have to ask politely for the information. If your ankle is hurting, you will have to explain it to the athletic trainer and get therapy. If you want your parents to extent your allowance or your curfew time then you will have to communicate your needs and explain the reasons behind your request. Later on in life you will have to utilize good communication skills to get a job, and generally, to do well in life.

The need for communication arises due to the need to express ourselves and our feelings. None of us can live with bottled up feelings. Thus, the basic need to communicate arises so that one can express themselves. The same logic applies at every workplace, organization or any other place. The need for communication and the ability to communicate, helps in developing efficient management, organizational skills, laying down plans, establishing a healthy work culture and resolving impending issues. Different forms of communication have been developed to simplify the process of communication. Communication is very important to keep the environment in a healthy and a peaceful state.

In today’s world of instant communication, we never stop to reflect why communication is important, or why we should be learning effective communication techniques and substituting emoticons, slang, abbreviations, short texts and sound bites, and why we should be developing the skills to express what we really want to say. It is fair to say that we fail to recognize the true value of communication skills. Accomplished and successful people – in their profession, personal and social relationships – understand the importance of communication skills, which is why some people enjoy success while others continually encounter difficulties expressing themselves and understanding others without misunderstanding and conflict. Today’s digital innovations capture too much of our attention, usually at the expense of personal conversations.

The importance of communication skills affects everything you do, so it’s essential that what mean to say and interpret doesn’t get lost in translation. It’s not only the choice of words that affects understanding but also emotional states, concentration and your determination to understand others and express yourself clearly. When trying to talk and listen effectively,

it’s critical to develop empathy with each person we engage in conversation. It’s also important to consider the other person’s emotional and mental state when talking to them.

The most successful groups or organizations, whether that is a sport team or a school class  or a group of friends, need to understand that if they are to be successful, good communication at all levels is essential. Effective communication can lead to stronger decision-making and problem-solving. Communication is a source of information to the decision-making process as it helps identifying and assessing alternative course of actions. Communication also plays a crucial role in altering individual attitudes. Communication leads to better productivity, it is convincing material to get everyone on board with overall goals,   it helps set clear goals for everyone to work on, creates a better image for the group, promotes sound internal and external relationships between people and overall, it promotes a greater rate of success.

Effective communication is also important when having to deal with diversity. In your school, in your sports teams and in your life in general, you will come across people from different ethnic backgrounds, different social and cultural backgrounds, different religions, different upbringing; this is the reality of life and people need to learn how to effectively communicate through their different languages, perceptions, beliefs, even through the use                           of the same language.

Another important reason to master effective communication skills is the fact that employers these days are looking for people with so called “soft” skills, and effective communication is a priority, according to recent surveys in the business world.

Let’s all to watch a video now, which is all about good communication skills for teens!

Good communications skills for teens

Acquiring effective communication skills

Learning how to improve communication skills is an ongoing process that should grow and develop continuously throughout your life. Even if you come across people who are “set in their ways” and not open to new ideas, you can utilize effective communication to positively influence them, by consensus-building techniques, active listening and clear, assertive communication techniques. Effective communicators undoubtedly enjoy better relationships, and greater financial success than those of us who never bother to learn how to improve verbal skills, as they avoid misunderstandings and devoting valuable time and energy trying to explain themselves over and over.

Below, we go over some very helpful practices, on developing and championing your communication skills.

1. Open Two-Way Dialogue
   Learn to focus on greeting people enthusiastically with a warm handshake, hug or personal greeting. Put aside the electronic devices and focus on the person and their words instead of appearing distracted.
2. Listen Actively
   Be open and don’t let emotions and time constraints impede you from listening. Keep body language as neutral as possible or even supportive, instead of showing signs of impatience. Encourage speakers to express exactly what’s on their mind and try not to cut them off or make presumptions.
3. Remain Focused and Calm
   In the face of disagreement with the speaker you should still show respect. Try to remain calm and focused on the conversation instead of switching off, which is not easy some times. Consider the speaker’s motivation with respect to their motives, background and emotional state. In other words, pay attention to the context. Pay attention to vocal tones and nonverbal cues that affect the meaning of words.
4. Seek and offer Feedback
   Summarize what you have heard, maybe ask questions and show interest in what the speaker said. These techniques will make it easier to alleviate shyness, reach consensus, and even draw others to the conversation. Feedback can decrease the impact of recommending different approaches or when you want to say no. Offering constructive feedback to others is a good way to show that communication is a 2-way road, but remember to be honest, as well as realistic in your assessment.
5. Communicate Assertively
   Leaving room for doubt creates more problems than assertively expressing your opinion in clear terms. Sometimes, conflict is unavoidable, but when you understand your own emotions and those of others, you can express your opinion clearly by eliminating the possibility for misinterpretations. It can also make it easier to express uncomfortable messages and negative verdicts, without damaging a relationship.
6. Be open, friendly, confident and honest
   Approachability does a lot for communication; a friendly tone, an upbeat and polite attitude and a general air of openness, all play a great role in fostering communication. At the same time make an effort to show confidence, not only in your message itself, but also in the fact that you too believe and act on what you say. Honesty raises your credibility, but also raises confidence for others in communicating with you.
7. Be very clear
   Think of what you want and mean to say. Avoid rambling or repeating yourself, going around in circles, flirting with instead of making the point, which can be confusing for the listener. If need be, jot some notes down to help you get your message across. Make clear, to-the- point, statements and don’t allow room for misinterpretation or doubt on behalf of  listeners.
8. Choose the right format
   It’s not the same to chat with your teammates on the bus as having a conversation with your school principal; it’s not the same talking to your coach after a big win as talking to your coach after she had an argument with another player in front of everyone at practice.  A good communicator communicates effectively, but also through the right medium and at the right time. Some things are meant to be said face-to-face and in person, but other things require documentation and should be done in writing. Sometimes you can be relaxed in communication, but often you will have to take into account if the person with whom you wish to communicate is busy or not, if the news you will give are good or bad and of course the timing of the communication in relation to external factors.
9. Body language
   This is a key part of nonverbal communication, which plays a significant role in getting your point across. Hand gestures, eye contact and body posture all get parsed subconsciously (or even consciously, at times) by the person you speak with. Making them feel comfortable; your body language can go a long way to bolstering that openness we talked about previously.
10. Reflection
    Reflection is when you stop and consider and process incoming communication, rather than merely comprehending it. When people communicate with you, they don’t want to talk to a wall, they want you to hear what they’re saying, but understand it too. Taking this time to reflect on your communication with others will help you better link the information with previous experience or future goals and that, will work to your advantage.

Effective listening leads to effective speaking

Effective speaking and listening depend on many factors such as body language, empathy, choice of words that the listener can understand and other nonverbal signals. Nonetheless, the most important skill for you to master is active listening, which often means putting other activities to one side and focusing all your attention on the people with whom you’re communicating.

Effective listening is the first step to improving your communication skills. Vocal tone and non-verbal cues can affect the meanings of words. They make all the difference as to whether a statement is meant to be taken literally, or sarcastically and so on. Try not to interrupt other speakers until they’ve finished their thoughts, and try paraphrasing what was said to ensure that you “got it”. You can make it clear that this is what you’re doing by uttering such statements as, “Let me see if I understand” or “What you’re saying…” Don’t repeat word for word the other’s person’s argument but instead succinct recap. In other words, summarize what the other person has just said out loud and ask them if you got it right.

To become a good and effective listener, remember to:

• Ask questions to crystallize the information.
• Ask follow-up questions to maximize understanding.
• Encourage others in the case of group discussions to speak up and express their opinions.
• Try to pinpoint converging views. For example, points of agreement in a broader disagreement.
• Summarize the gist of the discussion and the way forward.
• Be aware of the possibility of cultural difference between people of different ages, backgrounds, gender, religion, and ethnicity because nonverbal cues differ across age groups, countries and so on.

This approach of clarifying messages and responding to their meaning can be used in every setting whether social, business or personal with the necessary adjustments in the language used and the techniques with respect to the context.

Remember that if you want to become an effective communicator, you also have to pay attention to the factors that usually tend to hinder communication, or make it more difficult. Below we list some barriers to effective communication, which you must remember to  avoid:

1. Judge the person communicating with you
2. Not pay attention to the person communicating to you
3. Use technical terms, unfamiliar language or slang
4. Offer a solution or unwanted advice without being asked
5. Avoid or undermine the concerns of others

Regardless of your personal situation at any given time, you should always pay attention to the importance of communication skills. You should always try to follow the basic rules laid out in this lesson when communicating; listening actively, such as making eye contact, responding appropriately, asking questions if you don’t understand and remember not to send mixed signals. When you understand what people are really saying, you can communicate more effectively and not end up in a state of confusion, misinterpretation, or exaggerated response.

Action steps – Exercise 1 (10 minutes):
Watch this short video and then discuss the different styles of communication with the class.

Communications styles: passive, aggressive, assertive

Lesson wrap-up

Communication is one of the most important skills that we must learn in our lives. It’s a prerequisite for healthy and long social, business, professional and intimate relationships. This is why today we focused entirely on dissecting communication, its importance and its meaning. We also provided you with some tips on what to do, how to improve and what to avoid in order to improve your communication skills. Be sure to constantly improve your communication skills as they will be important throughout your lives and for many different things.

At this point we will wrap up today’s lesson. First, we will go over the learning objectives of this lesson and we want your feedback as to whether they have been achieved and then we will address any questions you may have. Please feel free to ask anything you’d like in relation to today’s lesson and we would love to hear how the concepts we discussed today relate to you and your life!